intercal
Not suggesting this, just having a laugh is all
I think one of the most important parts about film and tv analysis is never forgetting that no matter the genre or setting, the story is probably being filtered through the perspective of a person who lives in California
Like if you’re watching a tv show and you’re starting to feel alienated by some of the motivations and worldviews the characters all seem to share, consider that you aren’t the weirdo, they are, because they’re being written by people who are at any given moment no more than five minutes removed from a kale smoothie
Anonymous asked:
three hot girls show up. they're new to your school or workplace and they're interested in you. you think wow, three hot girls interested in me. and they're all competing over you and one invites you to dinner and the other invites you to a more expensive dinner and it goes back and forth cause they want to woo you so badly. and you get kind of weird vibes from all of them and from the whole situation, something feels a little off, but damn they're really really hot.
there's a redhead one who says she's from the midwest, but you can never remember exactly where. she has a cute, down to earth, girl-next-door look. freckles and big blue eyes and wavy locks. literally wears little bows in her hair, totally sincerely, like something out of a story book. plus uh... sometimes as she walks away you get a hint of the curvy behind she's hiding under that cute pinafore dress she always wears, and my god it is rodonculous. the type of round old thang good midwestern girls are just not supposed to have. hoo boy.
then there's a chinese one from the heart of beijing. highest fashion gal you've ever seen. petite, with pale skin and jet black hair. she shows up every day in designer boots and high-end streetwear that she can't possibly afford just from working this job. in fact, you can't figure out why she's working this job at all. seems over- and under-qualified at the same time; she can code in a few dozen programming languages but appears not to understand the concept of credit card debt. it can be a little hard to tell under the hoodies she wears, but her tits are fucking enormous.
last but not least there's the blonde one. she's from a city you can't pronounce, off in eastern europe somewhere. the definition of tall and leggy, elegant but with an edge to her. would never dream of going out without a full face of makeup and high-heels. when you hear the click clack of her shoes as she walks across the room, it's hard not to think about how she might literally be able to crush you with her thighs. she came to the country just recently, but she's kinda cagey about exactly when and why. there's something wistful in her voice, like she's seen hard times.
one night they all invite you out at once. 8pm dinner at the fanciest restaurant in town. did they coordinate this? no, impossible, they definitely don't seem to be friends. what do you do?
cop-disliker69 answered:
I immediately delete everything I’ve ever posted online, smash my PC and put my phone in the microwave, start shredding every piece of paper in my apartment, and instruct my parents to do the same at their house. I empty my bank account and start heading for Alaska. With my friends I leave behind vague murmuring that I intend to bring a hunting rifle and tent and try to live on my own in the wilderness, but actually I’m going to drive to the Alaskan peninsula, ditch the car, take a ferry to Russia, make my way down to China, then stop in Thailand where I get new documents made, and start my new life as a Canadian expat in like Singapore or something, hoping eventually to at least get to Australia or New Zealand in a few years when the heat has died down.
This scenario is clearly a trap. All three of those women are honeypots from three different police agencies closing in on me.
But then one day in New Zealand, years later, the redhead tracks me down, alone. She too is a fugitive now. And she gives me the sloppiest top I’ve ever had. Just absolutely unforgettable dome. As I’m sleeping with a big dumb smile on my face, she puts a bullet in my head. She’s sparing me from the fate that would have befallen me if I’d fallen into the agency’s hands, and using my death as a bargaining chip to get them off her back.
i’m going insane at having someone turn the songs of my sleep demons into audible reality
Tumblr is an Amelia Bedelia ass website
No matter how precisely you try to phrase something, there's at least one person out there who will find a way to misinterpret you in a way that no reasonable person ever would in order to confirm some existing biases.
If I asked any given discourse blogger on this website to dust the furniture they would say "Okay" and start putting more dust on the furniture
Nobody is posting Amelia Bedilia's ass on this website, what the fuck?
